Character and personality ethics, Interpersonal communication skills
Looks at the pictures below, you can see two highlighted terms, Character and Personality. These are the two success factors of our life. Stephen R Covey in his book says, almost all the literature in the first 150 years or so focused on what could be called the character ethic as the foundation of success - things like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, simplicity, modesty, and the Golden Rule.
The character ethic taught that there are basic principles of effective living, and that people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character.
But shortly after World War I, the basic view of success shifted from the character ethic to what we might call the personality ethic. Success became more a function of personality, of public image, of attitudes and behaviors, interpersonal communication skills and techniques that lubricate the processes of human interaction. The personality ethic concentrate more on techniques not on principle.
Below diagrams also represent the character-personality differences. Character is, who we are and what we do when NOBODY is watching. Personality is, who we are and what we do when EVERYBODY is watching. On another word personality is how to “appear to be” rather than how to “actually be.”
When we are conversing with another person, there are actually six people involved in the dialogue. This is nothing but a basic interpersonal communication skills,
ME:
1. The real me.
2. The person I want to be.
3. The person I want you to think I am.
YOU:
4. The real you.
5. The person you want to be.
6. The person you want me to think you are.
If we try to connect these different personalities with character-personality ethics, “The real me and The real you, i.e. 1 and 4 in the above” will fall into our Character ethic and all other personalities will fall into our Personality ethic. This means in-order to have good interpersonal communication skills, we need to understand “real me and real you”. We need to understand the real characters of both. We need to understand the principles surrounded by that person.
Techniques are very important for personality development, we really need techniques to have good communication skills, good public relationship and good managerial skill etc. But when we use techniques to cover our own lack of character or principle, they become manipulative. So we really need to improve our character ethic, which is inside out approach, meaning we give our first energies to our own character development, there by understanding the “real me” and then work on these principles to understand other person frame of reference or “real you”.
The relationship between character and personality can also be illustrated with an iceberg. The tip of iceberg (personality) is what people first see. Although image, techniques and skills can influence your outward success, the weight of real effectiveness lies in good character. Unless we work on character ethics we will not develop trustworthiness, trustworthiness is a combination of character and competency.
So we need to return to character ethic to build trust…
Keep winning
~Your Madoo
Looks at the pictures below, you can see two highlighted terms, Character and Personality. These are the two success factors of our life. Stephen R Covey in his book says, almost all the literature in the first 150 years or so focused on what could be called the character ethic as the foundation of success - things like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, simplicity, modesty, and the Golden Rule.
The character ethic taught that there are basic principles of effective living, and that people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character.
But shortly after World War I, the basic view of success shifted from the character ethic to what we might call the personality ethic. Success became more a function of personality, of public image, of attitudes and behaviors, interpersonal communication skills and techniques that lubricate the processes of human interaction. The personality ethic concentrate more on techniques not on principle.
Below diagrams also represent the character-personality differences. Character is, who we are and what we do when NOBODY is watching. Personality is, who we are and what we do when EVERYBODY is watching. On another word personality is how to “appear to be” rather than how to “actually be.”
When we are conversing with another person, there are actually six people involved in the dialogue. This is nothing but a basic interpersonal communication skills,
ME:
1. The real me.
2. The person I want to be.
3. The person I want you to think I am.
YOU:
4. The real you.
5. The person you want to be.
6. The person you want me to think you are.
If we try to connect these different personalities with character-personality ethics, “The real me and The real you, i.e. 1 and 4 in the above” will fall into our Character ethic and all other personalities will fall into our Personality ethic. This means in-order to have good interpersonal communication skills, we need to understand “real me and real you”. We need to understand the real characters of both. We need to understand the principles surrounded by that person.
Techniques are very important for personality development, we really need techniques to have good communication skills, good public relationship and good managerial skill etc. But when we use techniques to cover our own lack of character or principle, they become manipulative. So we really need to improve our character ethic, which is inside out approach, meaning we give our first energies to our own character development, there by understanding the “real me” and then work on these principles to understand other person frame of reference or “real you”.
The relationship between character and personality can also be illustrated with an iceberg. The tip of iceberg (personality) is what people first see. Although image, techniques and skills can influence your outward success, the weight of real effectiveness lies in good character. Unless we work on character ethics we will not develop trustworthiness, trustworthiness is a combination of character and competency.
So we need to return to character ethic to build trust…
Keep winning
~Your Madoo
You have such an interesting blog. Thanks for sharing. Reading blogs is my hobby and I randomly found your blog. I enjoyed reading your posts. All the best for your future blogging journey. Please keep in touch with me in Twitter, @ipersuade.
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